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Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known - Article image
Life · May 18, 2026 · 31
Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known

ALTOONA, PA - Local man Ted Woods got tired of all the time spent getting angry online. "There's always something new to get angry at each day," Woods...

Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He's Getting Really Into The Civil War - Article image
Family · May 18, 2026 · 25
Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He's Getting Really Into The Civil War

BANGOR, ME - Local dad David Kemp gathered his family together today to break the news to them that he's getting really into the American Civil War.

New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate - Article image
Politics · May 18, 2026 · 25
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate

U.S. - New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the "Make Everything Worse" candidate and the "Fix Everything" candida...
Data Center Built In Theodore Roosevelt's Mustache
Data Center Built In Theodore Roosevelt's Mustache
Data Center Built In Theodore Roosevelt's Mustache - Featured article image
U.S. · May 18, 2026 · 38

KEYSTONE, SD - In a historic victory for American infrastructure, the Department of the Interior announced the successful installation of a 50,000-squ...

Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time - Article image
Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 77
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time

U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...

Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 77
Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time

Nation Just Realized Chelsea Handler Has Been Trying To Be Funny This Whole Time - Featured article image
U.S. - According to overnight reports, a dumbfounded nation at last realized that Chelsea Handler has actually been trying to be funny this whole time...
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate - Article image
Politics · May 18, 2026 · 25
New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate And ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate

U.S. - New polling data in an ongoing political race showed a dead heat between the "Make Everything Worse" candidate and the "Fix Everything" candida...

Subscriber Headlines

Man Can't Decide Between Nunchucks Or Crusader Helmet For Mother's Day Gift

May 8, 2026 | Yantelope the Encabulator


Guests At Homeschool Graduation Told To Hold Applause Until Both Names Are Read

May 13, 2026 | BrotherTim


Mom Overcome With Guilt For Only Feeding, Clothing, Educating Kids Today

May 8, 2026 | Murf

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MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox - Article image
MLB Introduces 10-Run Mercy Rule For Boston Red Sox
Sports · May 18, 2026 · 10
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead - Article image
Baal Returns From The Bathroom To Find All His Prophets Dead
Scripture · May 18, 2026 · 25
Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone - Article image
Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone
Lifestyle · May 16, 2026 · 46
Millennial Figures Out How To Use '6-7,' Signaling The End Of The Fad - Article image
Millennial Figures Out How To Use '6-7,' Signaling The End Of The Fad
Culture · May 15, 2026 · 54
Lakewood Church To Be Renamed 'DraftKings Arena' Following Branding Deal - Article image
Lakewood Church To Be Renamed 'DraftKings Arena' Following Branding Deal
Church · May 15, 2026 · 52
Disney Purchases Rights To 'Robot Jox' Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal - Article image
Disney Purchases Rights To 'Robot Jox' Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal
Entertainment · May 15, 2026 · 44

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London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death To Jews’ - Article image
World · May 17, 2026 · 55
London Mayor Confused By Protesters Not Chanting ‘Death To Jews’

LONDON - London Mayor Sadiq Khan was deeply confused by protests over the weekend where no one was shouting "Death To Jews."
Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws - Article image
Media · May 16, 2026 · 87
Associated Press Warns That Trebuchets Are Exempt From U.S. Gun Laws

U.S. - The Associated Press has warned that despite their deadly nature, medieval trebuchets are mostly exempt from firearm regulations in the United ...
Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called 'Smoking Cigarettes' - Article image
Lifestyle · May 16, 2026 · 60
Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called 'Smoking Cigarettes'

U.S. - Teenagers across the nation are discovering a hip new alternative to vaping, called "smoking cigarettes."
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible' - Article image
Media · May 15, 2026 · 72
'The New York Times' Updates Slogan To 'All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible'

NEW YORK, NY - The New York Times, one of the country's most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting to trying times by changing its longtime ...

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Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive - Article image
Politics · May 14, 2026 · 63
Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive

BEIJING - President Donald Trump's meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping was going swimmingly until Trump made a crucial (but common) error: gifti...
Report: CIA Raided By CIA - Article image
U.S. · May 15, 2026 · 39
Report: CIA Raided By CIA

LANGLEY, VA - Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the Central Intelli...
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running - Article image
Life · May 14, 2026 · 75
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running

TEMPE, AZ - After taking a look under the hood of the Barton family's Dodge Caravan, local mechanic Terry Ricks admitted that he has absolutely no clu...
Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs - Article image
Life · May 15, 2026 · 75
Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs

FORT BEND, IN - After picking up a new pack of bulbs for the kitchen light fixture, local man Kyle Stephens was just 17 more trips to Home Depot away ...

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Jan. 6 Committee Calls Its First Witness Jimmy Kimmel - Article image
Politics · Jun 9, 2022 · 91
Jan. 6 Committee Calls Its First Witness Jimmy Kimmel

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The January 6 Committee has called its first star witness of the night, Jimmy Kimmel. The universally beloved, extremely talen...
Vegan Crossfitter Cyclist Unsure What To Tell You About First - Article image
Vegan Crossfitter Cyclist Unsure What To Tell You About First
U.S. · Apr 29, 2026 · 66
Nintendo Charged With Crimes Against Humanity For Neglecting To Port 'Wind Waker' To The Switch - Article image
Nintendo Charged With Crimes Against Humanity For Neglecting To Port 'Wind Waker' To The Switch
Crime · Mar 18, 2025 · 50
Chuck E. Cheese Oversight Board Decides To Continue To Ban Trump From The Ball Pit - Article image
Chuck E. Cheese Oversight Board Decides To Continue To Ban Trump From The Ball Pit
Politics · May 5, 2021 · 69
Harvard Hires Satan As New Head Chaplain - Article image
Harvard Hires Satan As New Head Chaplain
Christian Living · Aug 28, 2021 · 153
John MacArthur Protests Prosperity Gospel By Gluing Self To Joel Osteen's Pulpit - Article image
John MacArthur Protests Prosperity Gospel By Gluing Self To Joel Osteen's Pulpit
Headline Says It All · Oct 20, 2022 · 98
Don Lemon Forced To Do Sensitivity Training Until He Can Learn To Quit Referring To His Coworkers As ‘Dusty Old Broads’ - Article image
Don Lemon Forced To Do Sensitivity Training Until He Can Learn To Quit Referring To His Coworkers As ‘Dusty Old Broads’
Celebs · Feb 21, 2023 · 96

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Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492 - Article image
Premium · May 18, 2026 · 16
Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492

Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition - Article image
Premium · May 5, 2026 · 47
Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition

Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees - Article image
Premium · Apr 28, 2026 · 159
Photo Caption Challenge: Trump And The Bees

Trump created quite a scene today when he showed off the beehive from the White House South Lawn to the visiting king of England. Write your best capt...
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims - Article image
Premium · Mar 12, 2026 · 25
New On Bee Minus! The Buzz #041: The Matter With Muslims

Muslims are in the news this week after two Pennsylvania teenagers crossed into New York City for what could have been a normal day enjoying the city ...

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Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is - Article image
Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is
Politics · Mar 7, 2019 · 21
Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15 - Article image
Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15
Tech · Dec 9, 2020 · 102
Man In Critical Condition After Hearing Slightly Differing Viewpoint - Article image
Man In Critical Condition After Hearing Slightly Differing Viewpoint
Worldviews · Apr 11, 2019 · 37
Bill Clinton: 'Allegations Of Sexual Misconduct Should Disqualify A Man From Public Office' - Article image
Bill Clinton: 'Allegations Of Sexual Misconduct Should Disqualify A Man From Public Office'
Politics · Sep 25, 2018 · 13
Biden Apologizes For Racist Gaffe: 'I Like All Races, Even The Bad Ones' - Article image
Biden Apologizes For Racist Gaffe: 'I Like All Races, Even The Bad Ones'
Politics · Aug 9, 2019 · 10
Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking - Article image
Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking
Politics · Jul 16, 2019 · 15

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