WASHINGTON, DC — A man thought to be wearing a terrifying zombie costume at an area Halloween party turned out to be Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell.
Partygoers reportedly admired the man's drooping, sunken eyes and amazing zombie makeup before realizing that it was just Senator McConnell standing against the wall in his normal clothes.
"I thought it was one of the best costumes at the party," attendee Maria Sylvia said. "He was doing this creepy shuffling walk, like zombies do. But then I realized it was just Mitch McConnell, not wearing a costume at all. Still pretty scary, though."
Several partygoers reported feeling nervous as they thought the man in the zombie outfit had taken things a little too far. Senator McConnell reportedly lurched around the room moaning, only furthering his image as a creature of the undead.
"MRGHphhhhhhhhh," McConnell was heard saying. "EEERRRRRRPHRmngh."
At publishing time, McConnell had been narrowly rescued after several party attendees saw him wander off into oncoming traffic.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
