TEMPE, AZ — Local man Frank Benden, who was currently engulfed in flames, assured friends coming to visit that the 107-degree temperatures in Arizona weren't that bad because it's a dry heat.
Benden, as his fingers charred to a black crisp in the fire, explained that the total lack of humidity means that triple-digit temperatures in Arizona don't feel as hot as elsewhere,
"Seriously, 110 here in Tempe is super comfortable. It's all because it's a dry heat," said Benden, as his leg spontaneously erupted into flames. "It's a totally different feeling than somewhere humid, where 90 degrees can feel miserable. I mean, it's still a little warm, but you can basically be outside year-round. People from other states just don't understand."
Benden then briefly paused his explanation to call 9-1-1, asking to be taken to the burn ward again. "See, if your hair were on fire down in Florida, it would feel awful. Because of the humidity. But here, it's really pretty nice."
Neighbors reportedly attempted to help by spraying him with a garden hose, but Benden waved them off, insisting that doing so would "make it too muggy."
At publishing time, Benden had admitted that his skin blistering was a little bad, but it still felt nice in the shade.
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