WASHINGTON, D.C.—While checking in on President Trump’s progress on an upcoming executive order related to the ongoing healthcare crisis, horrified White House staffers reportedly discovered the phrase “all work and no play makes Trump a dull boy” repeatedly scrawled across hundreds of pages of Oval Office stationery.
The phrase was haphazardly scribbled on thousands of pieces of paper, typed in an endless stream on an open Word document, and even carved into the Oval Office desk, sources confirmed.
Trump had been locked in his office for hours, claiming to be working hard on solving the healthcare puzzle, apparently heading out for a stroll through the shrubberies to take a short break when staffers stumbled across the haunting messages. Other seemingly nonsensical phrases like “REDRUM”, “THE MOOCH”, and “ROOM 217” were scrawled in a mysterious red substance across the Oval Office walls, creating a shocking, grisly scene for his aides to uncover.
“This happens from time to time,” an aged and well-dressed White House groundskeeper told reporters as he trimmed a shrub on the lawn. “The mounting pressure of responsibilities here at the House that overlooks the nation is sometimes too much for a man to bear. Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters.”
At publishing time, the frightened staffer who had discovered the stack of eerie repetitions had locked herself in a West Wing bathroom, only to hear a figure lumbering toward the door dragging a fire ax behind him.