NEW YORK — The WNBA announced today that tickets for this year's Finals will be priced at whatever loose change customers currently have in their pockets.
With demand for tickets at an all-time low, the WNBA decided to give up on revenue and take its chances with whatever might be in people's pockets.
"A wadded up Taco Bell receipt? We'll take it!" said the cashier, handing over a ticket. "It's really been an interesting day. We've scored a lot of lint, paper clips, and even some cool rocks. Oh wow, here's a Starbucks card that still has 73 cents on it."
Fan reaction to the change has thus far been mostly positive. "I mean, tickets were only like $20 before. But today, I got in with an old jelly bean," said local fan Melissa Barnard. "That's a pretty great deal. Even though, it was cherry, which is my favorite."
At publishing time time, WNBA officials had recommitted to doing whatever it takes to keep Caitlin Clark from making the league financially viable.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?