SAN DIMAS, CA — A local wife and mother calmed her husband's fears by explaining that she only watches Reacher on Amazon Prime for the sweaty, muscled-out, absolutely ripped plotline and no other reason whatsoever.
"I only watch it for the rippling suspense and barrel-chested atmosphere, not because Alan is an absolute unit," said Debra Murphy, apparently on a first-name basis with series star Alan Ritchson. "I'm very invested in whatever his character is supposed to be doing, like killing the bad guys and stuff or whatever. It has nothing to do with his beefy 46-inch chest."
"Don't be silly."
According to sources, her husband wasn't actually worried about his wife watching Reacher until sitting through the lengthy explanation.
"I asked her how her day was going and she started talking to me about how 'buff, tight, and gorgeous' the plot and script of Reacher was," her husband revealed. "Now I don't know what to think."
Reacher is currently the number one show on Amazon Prime and is most popular among women 18-63 despite indications they don't even know what the show is about.
At publishing time, Debra Murphy explained that she was only looking at shirtless pictures of Alan Ritchson on his Instagram account because she was looking for news on a possible third season of the show.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
