MONROVIA, CA — A local wife revealed that she found the perfect way to get her husband's attention after dressing up as the historic Lockheed P-38 Lightning fighter aircraft.
The woman, Kelsey Rutherford, was running out of ideas for what she could do to get her husband's attention. She tried makeup. She tried changing her hairstyle. She also tried racking up overdraft fees on the family credit card, but nothing seemed to be working. That's when she noticed that Greg, her husband, was spending all his free time on the internet looking up images of World War II aircraft.
"I knew I had to do something different," she said. "His interest in WW2 planes gave me an idea."
So Kelsey concocted a crazy scheme to become what Greg seemed to want most: a fast and exciting — but always classy — turbocharged fighter aircraft capable of dominating in high-altitude combat against the naval air forces of the Empire of Japan.
"Greg, I have something to show you," Kelsey whispered to Greg while he sat completely entranced by the glow of this laptop.
"Yeah? What is it, dear — ohhhhh wow," replied her husband upon noticing the sleek figure of the polished aluminum-clad fighter aircraft capable of flying at 402 miles per hour and climbing to 44,000 feet at a rate of 4,000 feet per minute while carrying a nose-mounted cluster of four 50-caliber machine guns.
"Hubba hubba..."
According to friends and family, the couple has been inseparable ever since Kelsey finally figured out Greg's true love language. Kelsey, with Greg in tow, of course, was planning to travel the country on a mission to help other struggling wives with her new seminar: Keys To A Successful Marriage.
At publishing time, Greg was doing a detailed inspection of Kelsey's twin boom fuselage again.
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