ANAHEIM, CA — A local wife has revealed she is buying a second cell phone after reaching her previous phone's maximum number of open browser tabs.
The move became necessary after housewife Andrea Kirby discovered she had finally reached her iPhone's maximum allowable open browser tabs, requiring her to expand her browsing to an additional phone.
"There's probably no other way to fix this," Kirby explained. "It's really the only conceivable option for me, since all 500 of my current tabs have to remain open, and I can't open any more without branching out to another device."
Kirby went on to detail the importance of keeping every browser tab she's ever created open in case she were to ever need to reference an online chocolate chip cookie recipe she ran across in 2021. "I don't have a choice," she continued. "It's not as though I can keep it any other way. What else am I supposed to do? Bookmark it? Email it to myself? Print it off? Take a screenshot? Save it in a note? Let's not be ridiculous. No, I'll just keep the browser tab open on my phone for the rest of my life."
Tech industry insiders confirmed that a significant percentage of all cell phone sales can actually be attributed to wives buying second phones so they can have more open browser tabs. "If companies expanded their phones' capacity for open browser tabs, the entire phone market would collapse," said one expert.
At publishing time, Andrea Kirby already had 275 open browser tabs on her new phone.
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