INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Local woman Sabrina McKenzie asked her husband to please go on an epic quest of mythologic proportions, since he was already up anyways to go to the bathroom.
"Babe, since you're up already," began Mrs. McKenzie, as her husband froze in fear. "Can you grab me a glass of water? Oh, and while you're at it, follow this ancient map across many leagues to Fire Mountain, climb the treacherous peak, and retrieve a feather from the Hawk of Destiny, of which the old legends speak?"
Mr. McKenzie begrudgingly took the ancient map, well aware of the rules surrounding out-of-bed errands. "I learned early on in marriage that if the husband gets out of bed, no request is off limits. I brought this on myself," said Mr. McKenzie as he packed rations for the journey. "It always starts with asking for a glass of water, then next thing you know it's 'honey, can you build an extension on the garage since you're already up?' Better get to it."
Sources say Mr. McKenzie did in fact return several months later with a feather from the Hawk of Destiny, but Mrs. McKenzie quickly informed him that he was supposed to get one from 'the other Fire Mountain."
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: