RED BLUFF, CA — As people ring in the new year by taking on resolutions meant to improve their lives, local wife and mother Karen Moore took it upon herself to graciously announce a number of resolutions for her husband so he wouldn't have to.
"He never makes New Year's resolutions," she said. "But I know that deep down he really wants to be a better person for me — I mean himself."
Karen's husband, Tim, is now resolved to lose 30 pounds, take the kids to school everyday, make more money, take a romantic trip to Cancun, learn to salsa dance, and buy new curtains for the house. All for his benefit.
"New Year's resolutions are hard, but I know he can do it," Mrs. Moore said. "He has no choice."
When asked to comment, Tim's wife helpfully spoke for him, noting that Tim was "very happy" to have so many New Year's resolutions to work so hard on and that he was "very excited" about all the salads he would be eating.
At publishing time, Karen Moore had already failed her New Year's resolution to stop being so controlling.
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