WASHINGTON, DC — In an effort to educate President Biden on the details of the latest global conflict, Whitehouse staff called in beloved muppet and vaccine advocate Elmo to help break things down and explain things in terms the President would understand.
"Hello, Mr. Biden sir!" Elmo explained enthusiastically while standing in front of a large crayon diagram of Iranian missile launch sites. "Elmo is so excited to teach you about the turmoil in the Middle East! Ha ha ha! Today, we're going to learn about the letter "H"! Do you know what starts with "H"? Hezbollah! Good, Mr. President!"
President Biden was seen nodding along energetically to the red muppet's presentation. At times, he would doze off and a member of his team would gently poke him and offer him a little snack to keep him awake. Staffers invited Elmo to visit the President in the Situation Room after traditional attempts to explain the Iranian missile strikes into Israel failed.
"Let's work on our numbers! Elmo loves the number six. Iran now has six billion dollars! Can you count to six? Close enough!"
Elmo spent over seven hours with the President and worked on colors, numbers, shapes, international law, rules of engagement, foreign diplomacy, and animal sounds. Elmo got stuck at one point trying to explain that the West Bank is actually on the east side of Israel.
As of publishing time, the President's team announced he had mastered the letter "I" for Iranian-backed terrorism and was able to count up to "3" for WWIII.
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