Democrats Vs. Republicans: Where They Stand On Every Issue
Politics · Nov 7, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

Not sure how to vote in the vote? Become an informed voter quickly and easily with this in-depth Election Day Study Guide! We tell you exactly where the major parties stand on the key issues.

Climate Change

Democrats: If you don't pay us more taxes, the planet will explode in a ball of fire and you will watch your dreams turn to ash.

Republicans: It's cold outside, so there's no climate change.

Inflation

Democrats: Inflation is simultaneously not Biden's fault and not actually happening and also it's actually good for you.

Republicans: More like Bidenflation, am I right?

Killing Babies

Democrats: Pro.

Republicans: Anti, unless you get your mistress pregnant.

Taxation

Democrats: Tax and spend.

Republicans: Cut taxes and spend.

Drag Queens in Schools

Democrats: For drag queens performing for kindergarteners as often as possible.

Republicans: Wait — WHAT???

Ukraine

Democrats: Send billions to Ukraine.

Republicans: Samesies.

Balance of Power

Democrats: All of America should be ruled by Harvard graduates who live in Manhattan.

Republicans: ALL HAIL GOD EMPEROR TRUMP!

Education

Democrats: We must groom every child until everyone is gay or trans.

Republicans: GET YOUR KIDS OUT OF PUBLIC SCHOOLS!

Gas Prices

Democrats: You should've bought an electric car.

Republicans: Everyone should have an oil rig in their backyard.

Nuclear War

Democrats: For.

Republicans: Against, because they hate democracy or something.

Pronunciation of "gif"

Republicans: Hard "g."

Democrats: You are a racist.

Ushering in the downfall of Western Civilization

Democrats: PRO.

Republicans: Also PRO, but slower.


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