It has been scientifically proven that it's impossible to know what women want (and we all know you can't question science). In fact, there is usually a vast discrepancy between what men think women want and what women actually want.
You don't have to despair, because The Babylon Bee is here to provide an invaluable translation to help give men an idea of what a woman really wants.
What you think she wants: The food she ordered.
What she actually wants: The food you ordered.
What you think she wants: A man who will listen to her.
What she actually wants: A man who will agree with her.
What you think she wants: Cuddle time.
What she actually wants: A body pillow.
What you think she wants: You to fix the leaky faucet this weekend.
What she actually wants: You to fix the leaky faucet when she asked you 3 years ago.
What you think she wants: Six pack.
What she actually wants: Dad bod.
What you think she wants: Passionate lovemaking.
What she actually wants: A back rub.
What you think she wants: A fun night out with you.
What she actually wants: A fun night out by herself in the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru.
What you think she wants: Lingerie.
What she actually wants: Bathrobe.
What you think she wants: Flowers.
What she actually wants: Tacos.
What you think she wants: A trip to the mall.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: A fancy dinner.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: A diamond ring.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: Ryan Reynolds.
What she actually wants: R.C. Sproul.
There you have it — what women really want, translated for your understanding. Be advised, the translations above are subject to change at any moment.
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