SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Amid the controversy surrounding the attack on women's rights activist and NCAA swimming champion Riley Gaines, a new report indicated a burly male trans activist shouted "I'm a victim!" as he punched a woman squarely in the face.
"You people don't get it!" shouted the muscular, blue-haired man as he repeatedly struck the tiny woman in the jaw. "Trans people have the right to expose their genitalia in locker rooms to anyone they want! Stop threatening us and being violent!"
A former college swimming champion, Gaines has drawn the ire of the trans activist community after speaking out against the inclusion of biological male athletes like Lia Thomas in competitions with females. Trans activists, conversely, are aggressively defending their totally sane and logical rights to bully and demoralize women by destroying them in their sports and requiring them to feel violated by sharing locker rooms with naked men.
"If men who think they are women don't have the right to walk around naked in women's locker rooms, what rights DO they have?!" shouted another muscular male activist as he kicked an unconscious woman in the ribs. "We must be protected and defended!"
At publishing time, as the battered women were being hauled off to the hospital under police custody to receive treatment for their injuries before facing charges of committing dangerous crimes against the trans community, the trans activists who physically assaulted the protesting women had reportedly been isolated by law enforcement to protect them from the general public.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
