U.S. — An unprecedented leak of top-secret U.S. intelligence on the war in Ukraine, military assets, and vital diversity training materials has been traced to its shocking source: an email chain in which President Biden clicked "reply all."
"This email chain included CCP officials, Russian oligarchs, North Korean party members, and other world leaders," said a spokesperson from the Pentagon. "They normally use it to share funny memes with each other, but at some point, Biden had found thousands of classified files on his son's laptop and accidentally attached them in a reply to the entire email chain. It could've happened to anyone."
Sources say that after the President realized what he had done, he desperately sent another email begging everyone to not read the contents, but it was too late.
Biden has assured the country that the leak was not that damaging as his son Hunter had already sold most of the documents to the CCP years ago.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
