Weird: Liberty Safe Dials Revealed To Only Turn Left
Guns · Sep 6, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

PAYSON, UT — Liberty safe owners attempting to retrieve their guns today were surprised to discover that the dials on the safe now only turn to the left.

"Welp, this is strange," said local man Joe Garland. "Absolutely locked out if you try to go right."

According to sources, safe owners have also noticed a few other unusual changes. "It's the weirdest thing," said local woman Katie Rollins. "I was on the phone when I was opening my safe, and I kept hearing something that sounded like feedback. Then when I put my ammo clip in the safe, I could have sworn I heard a little voice saying 'Thank you!'. So bizarre!"

The company has assured customers that nothing has changed whatsoever about the operation of their safes. "Oh yeah, that's totally normal," said president Dan Jenkins. "It's also normal if all safes now open with the combination 1-2-3-4-5. Also, normal if there's a SWAT team at your door arresting you at this very moment. All totally normal."

At publishing time, the company had announced they would now be offering a free FBI raid with each safe purchase.


It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.

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