LOUISVILLE, KY — Fake and deceitful nurses inside the local crisis pregnancy center have reportedly just tricked another innocent woman into not killing her own baby.
According to sources, the duplicitous volunteers at the clinic celebrated with shouting and high-fives all around as the woman left. "Woo hoo! We got another one, team!" said clinic volunteer Sarah Smith. "These fools keep falling for it. They come here looking for "healthcare" that kills their child immediately and we delude them into thinking that they should let their sweet, innocent baby live!"
Witnesses say the loathsome, deceptive clinic uses smoke-and-mirror tactics such as letting moms listen to the baby's heartbeat and showing them images of the baby's face and wiggling hands. "It's unbelievable how deplorable these clinics can be," said Senator Elizabeth Warren, an outspoken advocate for baby-killing. "We have to shut down these sham clinics NOW! What's next? Beautiful babies growing up in a loving home, raised by a man and woman that love them? The horror!"
Other disturbing accounts state that the volunteers even prayed with the woman, and gave her prenatal vitamins, free diapers, clothes, bottles, a car seat, pacifiers, swaddles, and a multitude of other resources that can be freely accessed at any time.
At publishing time, the crisis pregnancy center staff openly stated that they hope to do this again and again to as many women as possible and that they are just getting started.
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