COLCHESTER, VT — A local marriage is reportedly on the rocks after a woman expressed a desire to go on more dates with her husband, apparently forgetting he just took her to Costco yesterday.
"We haven't been on a date in a while," said Norma Jones, apparently unable to recall the previous day's long and fruitful visit to Costco. "We should go out, just the two of us. I feel like we're drifting apart."
Witnesses report the husband, Mark Jones, was offended by the insinuation. "Babe, what are you talking about? We just went to Costco yesterday! That place has everything. We ate trail mix samples together! I bet you can't name a more romantic place."
Norma suggested the Trattoria Delia in Burlington, a fine-dining Italian restaurant known for its exquisite culinary delights.
"Babe, that place has got nothing on a Costco hot dog and soda for $1.50. Then you can enjoy a nice hike through wide open aisles followed by complimentary hors d'ouervres," Mr. Jones retorted. "Babe, you can't beat it."
At publishing time, Mark had finally relented and taken his wife out for an intimate evening at Bass Pro Shops.
By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?