U.S. — In what analysts are calling "a referendum on career politicians," voters throughout the nation are sending a message that they are fed up with "politics as usual" by electing a different set of career politicians than expected.
"Voters have made their opinion clear by voting with their feet – voters are done with leeches who have lived off the public dime for years without effectively representing their constituencies, and will be selecting slightly different leeches!" Local newspapers have reported the shocking development across several states, noting early polls that showed the more-hated politicians in the lead were wrong, and that less-hated career politicians will indeed be taking the race.
"For real change, we need to get rid of this Harvard guy & replace him with a Yale guy," said local man Dan Soniaster to reporters for a local newspaper. "The incumbent has just been languishing on the public monies as a comptroller, then alderman, then Mayor, then state assemblyman, then Congressional representative. The ‘dark horse' candidate will upset the establishment – he has the same exact political appointments, but was an education commissioner rather than an alderman, and was never elected to state assemblyman. So it's totally different."
At publishing time, voters had proudly notified career politicians of their displeasure by electing different career politicians who would squander taxpayer funding with a different arrangement of graft and corruption.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
