U.S. — Seemingly at a loss as to how to solve the ongoing problems originating from the North Star State, everyone else in the United States reached a joint agreement to post Minnesota on Craigslist for $50 or best offer.
The Somali fraud scandal, recent riots and violent anti-ICE clashes, and the overall negative effect of just being the state of Minnesota combined to impact the American people's decision to put the state up for sale at a significantly reduced price.
"Motivated to sell ASAP," the Craigslist listing read. "Used northern state looking for new home. Cleaning out the country and need to get rid of it. Must like Somalis. Interesting trades will be considered. Exercise equipment, comic books, and boxes of used handkerchiefs preferred."
While some speculated that the loss of a state would be a blow to the country as a whole, President Donald Trump seemed surprisingly open to the sale. "You have to be willing to take almost anything in return at this point," he told reporters in the Oval Office when asked about the Craigslist listing. "The value of Minnesota has been greatly reduced, if I'm being honest, and I am, because I'm always honest. A very honest person, believe me. If anyone wants to give up anything for Minnesota at this point, you have to take it. Very horrible what that state has become. Maybe Somalia wants to buy it, but I'm not sure they have $50, quite frankly. A lot of poverty, from what I've been told. I don't even know if they have Craigslist. Which is sad."
At publishing time, Minnesota had been sold to Canada in return for a case of maple syrup and a moose.
Minnesota is the place to be!
