WASHINGTON, D.C. - Well, this really backfired: according to sources, the new and totally constitutional eviction moratorium handed down by President Joe Biden means that Capitol rioters are able to camp out in Nancy Pelosi's office indefinitely.
Pelosi asked them to leave, but she was powerless to do so, as the eviction moratorium had taken effect.
"Shoo, peasant! Shoo!" she said, waving her arms and trying to get the man sitting at her desk to leave. "It's 3 p.m. -- ice cream-eating time for Auntie Pelosi!"
At publishing time, Pelosi had asked for the attorney general to prosecute the man who stole her podium, but he claimed he was doing it for "social justice" and got off scot-free.