Ten-Year-Old Trying To Kick Nasty Big League Chew Addiction
Family · Jun 4, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

SPOKANE, WA — Local ten-year-old Liam Moore has been working hard to overcome a dreadful addiction to Big League Chew.

"He's working the steps," said Liam's mom Elizabeth. "Every day Liam goes without Big League Chew is a real victory."

According to friends and family, Liam steadily descended into addiction over the past two years. "We should have seen the warning signs," said Mason, Liam's father. "First, Liam was only chewing on nights and weekends. Then he started blowing the occasional lunchtime bubbles. Next thing we knew, the kid needed an eye-opener chew and he's hiding wrappers in the neighbor's trash can. He just lost control."

After a family intervention, Liam began the long process of Big League recovery. "He's in a group now and has a fantastic sponsor," said Mrs. Moore. "Liam's sponsor is fifteen years old, and has been in recovery for four years now. Only an addict can really understand a fellow addict. Liam gets his six-month token tomorrow! We're really proud of his progress."

At publishing time, Liam had been spotted drinking black coffee and smoking a cigarette to help keep the cravings at bay.


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