WASHINGTON, D.C.—There’s a new decoration in the White House: a stuffed coronavirus hanging on the wall above a fireplace. This was put up at President Donald Trump’s request after he defeated the virus himself.
“Biggest, most deadly virus ever,” Trump told reporters. “And I killed it. Because I’m strong and I don’t let these things bother me.”
The stuffed novel coronavirus is in a fearsome pose, its knob-like peplomers posed ready to attach to a cell wall to penetrate it and begin replication. “That’s how it looked coming at me,” Trump said. “But I stood my ground; I wasn’t going to let this thing dominate me. And when it was right on me -- POW! -- I hit it with some Regeneron. My idea.”
Trump says he now wants to add even more viruses to his trophy wall and plans to hold more Rose Garden ceremonies with close contact to lure them in.