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Trump Secures Unlimited Chips And Salsa In Mexican Trade Deal

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After a long discussion with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, President Donald Trump has announced the details of a new trade deal with Mexico that will replace NAFTA. The highlight of the deal was securing Americans unlimited chips and salsa.

“Yeah, you heard that right: unlimited,” Trump gloated to the press. “The Mexicans wanted it to be one bowl of chips per customer and $1.25 for each bowl after that, but I said no way. All the chips and salsa we can eat, or I walk.”

Trump then talked about the advantages of the deal, like filling up on chips and not even needing to get an expensive meal to go with them. The Democrats, though, were not as positive about the deal. “The chips are greasy,” said House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. “It’s just not healthy to eat so many of them.”

“The Democrats are losers,” Trump responded to the criticism in a tweet. “Who doesn’t like free chips? No one. Prepare for a red wave! A red wave of salsa!”

There are some doubts about the trade deal, though. “Mexico really might have gotten the better end of the deal,” said economist Gregory Jensen. “To secure unlimited chips and salsa, Trump had to concede to Mexico all the ketchup packets they want. And good ones — Heinz. I mean, Mexico could start grabbing ketchup packets by the handfuls. It’s doubtful we can eat enough chips to make that worthwhile.”