WASHINGTON, D.C. — Facing increased criticism over the ongoing conflict with Iran, President Donald Trump promised to learn from his mistakes just as soon as he did something wrong.
"I'll be the first to admit it if it ever happens, which it won't," the president told reporters. "If I ever do anything wrong — which has never happened before in all of human history, it'd be really something if it did happen, frankly — then I promise to learn from my mistakes. I'm a very humble man — maybe even the most humble — so I'm eager to grow and change, if the occasion should call for it."
Trump was forced to commit to correcting his mistakes after repeated questions from the press about why the war with Iran had still not been resolved, his controversial tariff policies, and the rising cost of oil. In response, he reiterated that he was very eager to learn and grow in the unlikely event there would ever be a reason for him to do so.
"Only the fake news would say I ever made a mistake, but if I did, you'd be the first to hear about it," Trump explained. "I would apologize better than any president ever had — certainly better than Obama. Or Sleepy Joe Biden. You could never understand him when he apologized."
At publishing time, Trump had confirmed that the closest he ever came to making a mistake was almost turning down his cameo role in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.
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