WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of the administration's ongoing effort to remove illegal immigrants, President Trump has ordered the visa status reviewed of anyone with one of those weird "squiggly line n's" in their name.
In addition to squiggly line n's, Trump has also ordered a visa review for all people whose names have more than three consonants or are just really hard to pronounce.
"We're going to find all the people who aren't supposed to be here, starting with the 'squiggly n' people," said Trump. "You know the little squiggle they draw over the 'n', it's so funny looking, everyone says so. Start with them I said, you're going to catch a lot of bad people that way, let me tell you. You can't trust people with that 'squiggly n', it's not normal, not American, I've always said so."
The decision came on the heels of government officials stating that the current 55 million people in America on visas were simply too many to review. "We have to narrow our search, and the little squiggle is a dead giveaway," said Department of Homeland Security official Landon Donner. "Any weird accent symbols, we're coming for you. Or, if your name ends in Garcia or Rodriguez."
At publishing time, Trump had also ordered a visa review for anyone whose name is "Dong", mostly just out of curiosity.
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