EL PASO, TX—Kamala Harris has been spotted everywhere except the border, where she's supposed to be addressing the immigration crisis her administration, along with Joe Biden, created. But she's made up for her absence by having free copies of her book passed out to children.
Former President Trump wasn't going to take this lying down, though, and decided to one-up her by visiting the border before she ever got within 1,000 miles of it and hand out copies of his own book, The Art of the Deal.
"Hola, muchachos!" Trump said as he arrived to cheers from the migrants locked in cages. "I have a wonderful, fantastic gift for you all -- a book! Do you guys have books in your country? We have them here in this tremendous country. Books. I think that was one of mine. I came up with them. America is the only place with books, I'm pretty sure. Anyway, enjoy! And have fun getting packed tightly in those cages like sardines -- you can thank Fake President Joe for that! Sad!"
Unfortunately, Trump forgot to hand out Spanish copies of the book, so most migrants could not read it. But they have been able to fashion comfortable beds, chairs, and other elaborate pieces of furniture using Art of the Deal and copies of Kamala Harris's book.