PHILADELPHIA, PA — Former President Trump has been forced to cancel all of his rallies for the next two weeks after his request to take time off was denied by Brad Norris, his manager at McDonald's.

"I told Brad it was very important, that I really needed the time off," said Trump. "He just said that serving delicious golden fries in a timely fashion was also important, and told me to get my priorities in order. I have to tell, I was mad, but I really respect that Brad guy. Tough guy, very smart."

With Trump stuck working at McDonald's, Trump will reportedly hold rallies in the PlayPlace during his break times. "We will be hosting incredible rallies twice per shift, right in the PlayPlace," announced campaign manager Steve Conners. "Trump gets one fifteen minute break and one thirty minute break, so we'll have to cut his stump speech down, but it's going to be spectacular. Come to the slide at 10:15 tomorrow! Make America great again!"

At publishing time, Trump had put in a time off request for his Madison Square Garden appearance in two weeks, which his manager was "still considering".

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