WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump assuaged fears that he would seek an unconstitutional third term as President by suggesting he may instead become an immortal emperor of mankind for the next 10,000 years.
"I'm not ruling anything out," Trump said during a phone call interview with NBC News. "A lot of people want me to do it. They want me to become the living embodiment of universal order and rampage across the galaxy in mechanized armor, crushing illegal aliens in my cybernetic grip. But I tell them, you know, it's very early in the administration. Anything's possible."
Though Democrats call his aspirations a constitutional crisis, there is nothing in the constitution saying a president can't seek a higher office as a cybernetic god-emperor of mankind.
"If you're emperor of the world, then you're not president," Vice President JD Vance said, adding to the conversation. "You don't even need to vote for emperors. So I'd say this is very much on the table as soon as we can work out the immortality part."
Trump, who is 78-years-old, said he likes working and hates dying. "Being an immortal emperor is appealing," he admitted before adding: "There are methods which you could do it — dark methods. But it's too early to talk about that."
At publishing time, Elon Musk announced a new version of his unreleased Optimus robot that could connect to Trump's brain.
Mission accomplished: Satan has just confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and will never be coming back.
