PALM BEACH, FL — With the highly anticipated face-to-face televised meeting between the presidential candidates quickly approaching, Donald Trump expressed concern that if he beats Kamala Harris in the debate, the Democrats might replace her with someone good this time.

President Joe Biden succumbed to mounting pressure to drop out of the race shortly after Trump soundly defeated him in the initial debate and was subsequently replaced at the top of the ticket by Harris, leaving Trump worried that if he destroys her too badly, he could end up finally facing someone who isn't senile or mentally deficient.

"I'm in a no-win situation here, even though all I do is win," Trump said to members of his campaign staff. "Look, I beat Crooked Joe. So very badly. I beat him so badly that they dumped him and brought in Kamabla. Now, what's going to happen if I totally wipe the floor with her in the next debate? They might get rid of her and replace her with someone who can actually form a sentence. A candidate who is intelligent, can you imagine, folks? Sometimes it can be dangerous to be so great at winning, am I right?"

Trump campaign sources said the former president was unsure if he should demolish Harris when it could result in having to face yet another different opponent, such as Gavin Newsom or Michelle Obama. "I'd much rather face losers," Trump said. "So many big, beautiful losers."

At publishing time, Trump had reportedly decided to go ahead and completely destroy Harris at the debate while closing with an impassioned plea to leave her on the Democratic ticket.

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