DES MOINES, IA - The angels in heaven watched with awestruck wonder as Pastor Carl Travers of Midtown Baptist Church preached the best sermon of his life to a video camera. Pastor Carl spoke with fire, fury, and theological clarity unlike anything he had ever unleashed on the congregation before. He knew in his heart that the sermon would mark a turning point in church history. Even the Holy Spirit just hovered there, clearly impressed. "This is truly a sermon for the ages!" thought the excited pastor.
But then, tragedy struck. Just after the pastor spoke the pitch-perfect final lines of his sermon, he walked around to the other side of the camera and realized that he had never pressed the "record" button.
Pastor Carl collapsed pitifully on the floor of his office in despair. He tore his clothes and mourned with perfect biblical accuracy. "O wretched man that I am!" he wept. "My tears will be my food day and night! It is better for me to die than to live!"
The Apostles watched from their super-cool golden thrones. Saint Luke blurted out laughing. "You would SO do something just like that Peter!" he said, pointing and laughing.
"Shut up, no I wouldn't!" Peter replied.
"We'd better do something," said James. "Can someone grab one of our angels to head down there and make the perfect song miraculously start playing on Christian radio for this poor guy?"
As Pastor Carl sat in his office on a pile of dust and ashes, the radio in the corner mysteriously flipped on. At the direction of Archangel Gabriel himself, Lauren Daigle's hit single "Look Up Child" began to play softly over the airwaves.
The dejected pastor did indeed look up. He knew everything was going to be ok.
The Holy Spirit assured sources the sermon has been backed up on a celestial recording device and will be used in Carl Travers' highlight reel when he gets to heaven. For anyone excited to hear the greatest sermon ever preached, they will have to wait until the next life to experience it for themselves.
Since it was 1:30 AM on Sunday morning, the exhausted pastor elected to pull out one of his greatest hits to play as a rerun for his congregation. Seriously how lazy is he, right? Is he even trying?!
