ST. PAUL, MN — Amid online controversy about whether 100 men could defeat one gorilla, former VP candidate Tim Walz has graciously volunteered this week to don a Gorilla suit and wrestle 100 men.
"I'm willing to put this question to rest once and for all," Walz told members of the press. "I think the only way to get answers is to put me in a gorilla suit and let me wrestle with 100 sweaty men who have their shirts off and stuff. Grease me up and put me in that suit; Coach is ready!"
According to sources, Walz volunteered to wrestle 100 men before anyone else even brought up the idea. "The world needs to know, and I am willing to do my part," he said. "You know, for science."
Walz then donned the outfit and asked someone to point him in the direction of the 100 men.
"I don't even know where he got the suit," Walz's assistant Derek Simmons said. "I guess he already had one on hand, although I have no idea why. He was ready to go in seconds, like some sort of Superman quick change. He ran out to try to wrangle up 100 men from Planet Fitness to help him prove the point."
At publishing time, Walz had been seen beating his chest with his fists and asking passing men on the sidewalk if they'd like to wrestle with him.
The USA undeniably trumps our neighbors to the north.
