MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — After firing several anti-Israel protestors who occupied his office, Google CEO Sundar Pichai made a statement reminding everyone that Google is a place of business, not politics.
"I urge employees to please keep their politics out of the workplace. We're not a political organization," said the CEO of the world's most powerful political organization and election-rigging cartel. "Bringing divisive politics into Google greatly interferes with our mission to force our divisive politics on the rest of the nation."
"Come on! We have elections to rig, people!"
Activists were outraged after 9 of them were arrested and 28 of them fired for disrupting work operations to protest against Israel. "MRRPH berlefherrder! BLURPH!" said activist Tandy Figg, who was difficult to hear from behind her COVID mask. "FUuuullph!"
Google has assured investors they will remain committed to their work of rigging elections, empowering Communist China, and destroying all remaining goodness and decency in the world while making billions. "That's what honest business is all about," said Pichai.
At publishing time, Pichai's office had been occupied by 28 more activists protesting the firing of the previous 28 activists.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
