WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a merciful miracle, the Spirit of the Lord strengthened Elon one last time to push the pillars of Congress over, bringing the government crashing down.
According to sources at the Capitol, the miracle occurred just in time to stop Congress's "big, beautiful" spending bill from being passed, while also causing the entire Capitol Building to violently collapse.
Experts say the bill now has little chance of passage, as it is buried in rubble along with several hundred politicians.
"Elon called to the Lord," said one witness. "He said, 'O Lord God, please remember me and please strengthen me only this once, O God, that I may be avenged on the House of Representatives and the Senate for their wasteful spending.' And Elon grasped the two middle pillars on which Congress rested, and he leaned his weight against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other. And Elon said, 'Let me die with the big, beautiful bill.' Then he bowed with all his strength, and the house fell and the government with it."
At publishing time, it had been revealed that the wasteful spending Elon had killed in his death was even greater than the spending he had killed during his life.
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