NEW YORK, NY— According to sources at the ABC television network, a new spinoff of popular dating show “The Bachelor” will consist of 20 seasons following a Christian man named Mark fruitlessly attempting to find a mate in the singles’ ministry of his local church.
The man will have a dozen flowers to give out to the many women he could possibly be with, but will not be able to drum up the courage to walk over and introduce himself each and every episode. The show will feature warm moments like when the singles’ minister asks the group to break into prayer buddies and Mark is unable to find anyone to pair up with, and when he is asked to be a groomsman for all his friends’ weddings as they are promoted out of the singles’ ministry and into the real church.
The show, which is expected to last 20 seasons, will reportedly conclude in a dramatic finale with Mark gently being asked to leave the singles’ ministry and join a connection group especially designed for middle-aged men.
“Will Mark awkwardly wave at Trisha during the fall ice cream social? Will he sit next to Chelsea during circle prayer time? Find out on each exciting, ridiculously cringe-inducing episode!” says the voiceover on the first promo video for the upcoming series. “Your heart will break right along with Mark’s as he suddenly realizes the ratio of men to women in the single’s group is highly unfavorable. Don’t miss a single exciting episode for the next 20 years!”