Through an anonymous source in heaven, The Babylon Bee has recently obtained God's timeline for the rest of 2020. The source, who goes by the alias R.T. Stroll, leaked the below graphic that shows all the wonderful things that are in store for humanity going forward.
Enjoy the rest of the year!
Click for full-resolution glory
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Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.