U.S. — The Babylon Bee is proud to officially endorse Nikki Haley for president, and it has nothing to do with her threatening to drone strike our offices this morning, hahaha.

Nikki Haley served as governor of South Carolina from 2011 to 2017 before becoming a United States ambassador to the United Nations under President Donald Trump, which makes her uniquely qualified to be President. And have you heard Nikki Haley is a WOMAN? That's right: we haven't seen a candidate so overqualified for the job since Hillary Clinton back in 2016. Impressive! The fact that both Clinton and Haley have the power to make us "disappear" is a pure coincidence.

Hahaha, I mean, it's not like we'll all die if we don't endorse Nikki Haley. It's not that we fear death, we just really love life — I mean, we want her to succeed because she's a real go-getter. Yeah, that's it.

Please don't kill us, Nikki Haley.

This article was in no way written while under duress hahaha.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.