ANAHEIM, CA — What had looked to be a promising career in the food service industry was abruptly cut short on Wednesday, as a local Taco Bell employee was fired for passing his drug test.
Though Jacob Marquez had received high praise from his coworkers and manager after his first few weeks on the job, he was terminated immediately after the results of a surprise drug test came back and showed that he was not under the influence of any illegal substances.
"I don't know what I was thinking coming in to work not high," a disappointed Marquez said. "I know what's expected of me, but I exercised some really poor judgment and made a mistake that cost me my job. I'm very sorry for blatantly violating the company's rules, and I accept the decision."
Marquez's manager explained that there is a zero-tolerance policy for such infractions. "It's unacceptable," said Tina Watkins. "I appreciate the work he put in while he was here, but there's simply no excuse for this. Showing up for work without being on something just isn't the way we operate here. He knows that. All of our other employees know that. It's unfortunate that this happened, but we just can't afford to have people working here who aren't able to fail random drug tests."
Marquez said he hoped to learn from this experience and never fail to uphold his responsibility to be baked off his rocker before every shift at his next fast food job.
At publishing time, the Taco Bell manager had once again warned the staff against showering before reporting for work.
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