OVERLAND PARK, KS — The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study indicating that 90% of data centers are just storage for your wife's pictures of the kids.
Though many people mistakenly assumed that the massive facilities being built throughout the country were processing complex data, the study confirmed that the data centers were actually pulling huge amounts of electricity just to preserve 47 nearly identical photos of your toddler eating a piece of cantaloupe in July 2021.
"People worry about the environmental impact of these facilities," lead researcher, Dr. Doug Miller, said. "But we now know that the primary consumption of data is just your wife refusing to delete even the blurriest photo of your oldest sleeping in a car seat from four years ago."
According to the report, a single folder on your wife's phone labeled "Park Day 2023" currently utilizes more storage capacity than the entire digital archives of the Library of Congress. The folder contains 12,000 photos, of which 11,994 feature a child with their eyes completely closed.
At publishing time, the research team had confirmed that Google would now have to construct a new nuclear power plant by the end of the summer to accommodate your wife's upcoming footage of your child's pre-K graduation.
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