KANSAS CITY, MO — The Hollywood strike has entered a new level of viciousness, with Disney writers now threatening to write another Obi-Wan series if their demands are not met.
"Don't test us, Bob!" yelled the writers outside CEO Bob Iger's office. "We've got two episodes sitting right here! Don't think we won't do it!"
Tensions initially began to ratchet up when writers stood outside Disney studios and repeatedly read the screenplay of The Last Jedi. "This has gone too far. I wouldn't do that to a terrorist," said Mr. Iger. "Okay, maybe some terrorists. Like the 9/11 guys -- but, not like the guy who tried and failed to blow up his shoe. We will not cave!"
Terrified Star Wars fans have begun protesting as well, calling on both sides to dial back the rhetoric. "Disney has to give some concessions, but...threatening another Obi-Wan series is way out of line," said Star Wars fan Jim Riggles. "We are all adults here, even the guy who came dressed as an Ewok. Surely both sides can come to some sort of agreement without bringing up Kenobi."
At publishing time, Star Wars fans had begun planning a riot to burn down Industrial Light & Magic, but are reportedly struggling to infiltrate the moon base to deactivate the shield.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.