NORMAN, OK—According to local child Maxwell Parker who spoke with reporters Wednesday, the answer to any question the Sunday school teacher asks is most likely “Jesus.”
“You can start waving your hand around before she’s even done asking,” Parker revealed. “If you just say ‘Jesus’ you’ve got, like, a 95% chance of being correct, no matter what the question is. You’ll probably even get a ‘good job’ from the teacher and maybe even a treat from the surprise box as well.”
“Once in a while, they try to trick you, and the answer’s actually ‘Moses,'” he continued. “So you’ve got to learn to read the teacher. They usually have all kinds of tells when they’re trying to pull one over on the class.”
“But it’s never anything but ‘Jesus’ or “Moses,'” the young student confirmed.
At publishing time, Parker was unable to recall any of the actual questions he had ever been asked in Sunday school, nor lessons he had been taught, noting that he just blurts out “Jesus” as soon as he realizes a question is being asked.
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