Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead

Crime · Jun 9, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead

MCKINNEY, TX — Nineteen-year-old convicted murderer Karmelo Anthony, in his first public comments since being found guilty of first-degree murder, expressed regret that he didn't convert to Islam and stab someone in the UK instead.

Anthony currently faces up to 99 years in prison for the crime of not stabbing someone in England as a follower of the Prophet Muhammad.

"I really regret not converting to Islam and moving to London before I stabbed anybody," Anthony said. "Well... live and learn."

Defense attorney Mike Howard argued that his client would never even have been arrested if he were a Muslim in the UK and would be arguing such on appeal. "It's outrageous that my client was found guilty based on clear evidence," Howard said. "Those English barristers have it so easy."

Anthony, Howard said, would have easily walked free if he had perpetrated the same crime in the UK, and in fact would likely not have been prosecuted in the first place. "Let this be a lesson to everyone — if you're going to stab someone to death without cause, make sure you convert to Islam and do your stabbing in the UK. You'll be fine that way."

According to King's Counsel Jimson S. Rolifold in the UK, "There's a saying in England that there's no such thing as an open-and-shut case with a Muslim — mostly because the case is never opened in the first place."

At publishing time, Karmelo Anthony had legally changed his name to Muhammed Muhammed and announced he would be appealing the verdict and seeking refugee status in the United Kingdom.


Every hour a racist loses hope, will you help the Southern Poverty Law Center to help a racist in need?

Click to watch the latest sketch!