TUSCON, AZ — During a routine aircraft inspection at the 309th Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Group at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base, inspectors witnessed President Trump approach a Northrop B-2 Spirit stealth bomber and gently caress it while whispering, "Shhh... you'll get your chance soon."
Air Force personnel were reportedly not made aware of the president's visit and were astonished to see him talking to stealth bombers like they were attractive women. "It's okay, baby. I won't make you wait forever," Trump was heard saying.
Numerous sightings of Trump visiting air bases were reported in recent weeks ahead of a presumed air strike against Iran. The president is reported to have approached active duty planes and previous decommissioned planes waiting in storage, signaling that the strike may be a great deal larger than previously expected. But, according to sources, Trump will not give the green light to strike until he meets with every single plane and provides it with words of comfort.
At publishing time, the Iranian regime grew alarmed after reports came in that President Trump had been whispering sweet nothings to M1A2 Abrams tanks.
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