PACIFIC OCEAN—According to a spokesperson for the Discovery Channel, this year’s Shark Week special programming will emphasize social justice issues facing the shark population, including a roundtable forum of notable sharks discussing Great White Privilege.
The broadcast, titled “Great White Privilege: The Uncomfortable Tooth” on the channel’s popular “The Ocean View” program features various species of sharks talking about the suffering they endure for simply being born something other than a Great White shark. The program hopes to address the institutional advantages Great Whites have enjoyed for centuries that have unjustly propelled them to the top of the food chain.
“When I swim into a school of fish, none of them flee in terror,” complained a dark-skinned Hammerhead. “But when a Great White comes their way, with his huge jaws and powerful muscles, they see his white skin and automatically give him respect.”
“Even the ads for Shark Week—all images of Great Whites, right? No Makos or dogfish? Thought so. I guess that would make the audience too uncomfortable,” he sneered.
One Great White joined the panel to lament the unfair benefits he enjoys because of his skin color. “When I hear my species say they worked hard to reach the top, I just shake my head. They won’t admit how many perks they got just for being white.”
“It’s time for us to check our Great White privilege,” he added.