LAS VEGAS, NV — Members of the pop rock band Imagine Dragons were reportedly crestfallen to find out that yet another of their requests to have a politician use their songs at campaign rallies had been denied.
The rejection continues the band's 16-year-long streak of not having their music be good enough to get chosen as rally crowd-pleasers.
"Gimme a break!" complained lead singer Dan Reynolds. "You have got to be absolutely kidding me! What was it that Trump was using way back when? 'YMCA?' We're so much cooler than those guys. ‘Believer' would totally bang at a political rally. What's wrong with these people?"
While admitting that the band does have fans somewhere, staffers from both the Trump/Vance and Harris/Walz campaigns confirmed that its music "just isn't the vibe we're going for."
"It's not like I hate them, but I'm just kinda more into Maroon 5 and T-Swizzle," explained Harris campaign spokesperson Gayle Quimbly. "I like stuff that's a bit more affirming, if you know what I mean. I like Coldplay."
"Are they American?" asked Joe Linwood, a Trump staffer. "Or even popular? I don't know… I guess we could use them at some point. Maybe if there weren't any other bands still living."
At publishing time, Imagine Dragons was disappointed yet again, after Jackson, Indiana mayoral candidate Josh Atkins rejected the band's offer to use their music for his rallies, too.
DOGE is here, and Elon and Vivek will eliminate millions of government positions