LOS ANGELES, CA — Governor Ron Desantis has responded to Governor Gavin Newsom's political ads in Florida by running political ads of his own in California. While Newsom's ads were urging libs to move to California, Desantis is begging the libs in California to stay put.
"Listen, folks, it's simple really — in Florida, we believe in clean sidewalks, and shrinking the homeless problem — NOT growing it!" said Governor Ron DeSantis in his California statewide ad. "So to all the woke libs out there let me be clear: do not come to Florida. Stay in California and indoctrinate your own kids — that is if you actually have kids you haven't aborted." Viewers are then treated to a shot of DeSantis wrestling an alligator.
"Here in Florida, we do not want more crime, or taxes, or a racist school curriculum. We want citizens that are BASED and red-pilled," continued DeSantis's ad. "Still thinking Florida is right for you, Cali libs? Well, just remember that we have American flags all over our state, we LOVE guns — and most importantly — President Trump lives here permanently." The commercial ends with a shot of DeSantis and Trump throwing commies out of helicopters.
Upon watching these ads, millions of Californians fainted on the spot. According to sources, they were so triggered by the alarming levels of patriotism that their California brains couldn't handle it.
At publishing time, many of the libs who saw the ads are now trying to sue Ron DeSantis for emotional damage and trauma. Ron DeSantis has responded with plans to run the same ads on CNN and MSNBC.
By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?