NEW YORK, NY—Planned Parenthood today announced that in the interest of public health, the organization would begin vaccinating unborn babies before killing them.
"Everyone needs to be vaccinated, including the inconsequential clumps of cells we're murdering-- um, I mean aborting," said a Planned Parenthood spokesperson. "With deadly COVID on the loose, we can't be too safe. We need to make sure unborn babies don't give our abortionists COVID while they're being murdered-- um, I mean, aborted."
The spokesperson was quickly fired for accidentally using the word "murder" twice.
According to sources, Planned Parenthood will use a government grant to immunize both mothers and their babies to ensure health and safety before the baby is prematurely removed from its mother's womb and killed.
"We do this because we care about human lives," said a brand-new Planned Parenthood spokesperson. "We will always go the extra mile to ensure our murders are completed safely. Oh no! I mean abortions!"
The spokesperson was quickly dragged offstage with a large cane.