Parents Get Away For Romantic Weekend In Bed Asleep
Family · Aug 19, 2023 ·

LOUISVILLE, KY — Local parents of three Tom and Sarah Briggs got away this weekend for a steamy, romantic interlude consisting of hours and hours of uninterrupted sleep.

"Oh man, have I been fantasizing about this," said Tom as the couple nodded off to sleep. "Hope she brought her mouthguard."

For their idyllic weekend, the couple reportedly booked a quaint little Holiday Inn Express all the way across town. Witnesses said the lovebirds could barely contain themselves with glee as they checked in and kept making googly eyes at each other as they yawned. "We haven't had a full night's sleep in seven years," explained Tom. "We tried to do this last year, but that Friday the dog ate a bag of chocolate chips and started throwing up, the baby broke out in a rash, and our oldest snapped his arm jumping off the roof onto the trampoline. What's another year of no sleep, am I right?" he said, with a nervous laugh and a slight twitch.

The hotel manager Gene Roscoe stated that he frequently sees this sort of giddy romance with young parents. "They put the do not disturb sign on the door and check out two days later looking five years younger," said Mr. Roscoe. "You almost never see them leave the room. I'm not sure what happens in there, but what happens at the Holiday Inn Express stays at the Holiday Inn Express."

At publishing time, the Briggs had really turned up the romance by springing for late checkout so they could stay in bed just a little longer.

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

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