MIDDLE EAST — An oil tanker has managed to slip through the Strait of Hormuz completely undetected after donning a giant fake nose and mustache.
The tanker, known as the Delta Magnus, nonchalantly floated in disguise past both the Iranian and American blockades, leaving both sides none the wiser.
Intelligence reports indicate that American destroyers initially approached the tanker, but were deceived by the oversized Groucho Marx glasses. "Never mind, nothing to see here. Just some non-descript boat with glasses and a mustache," reported American sailor Jake Morton as he surveyed the boat. "I thought for a moment it might be an oil tanker. I really need to get my eyes checked."
Iranian forces were likewise fooled by the disguise, though a small craft did follow the Magnus for several minutes on orders of the Ayatollah. "Oh, he's a handsome fella. I'd sure like to tickle those lip whiskers," said Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei. "Someone get a boat up near that big boy and ask for his digits."
At publishing time, another tanker had stealthily passed through the Strait of Hormuz by wearing a blond wig.
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