U.S. — According to the results of a survey conducted among married women, over 100% of wives are waiting for feedback about the funny videos they sent their husbands at any given time. Statisticians posit that any husband reading this article, therefore, should check his phone immediately.
According to experts, some of the videos are indeed "funny" but husbands do not respond quickly enough because they're unaware that women apply an invisible time limit to communique.
"Unfortunately, the likelihood of any husband watching those videos in a timely manner is close to zero," said Dr. Albert Pride, professor of Man Science at Grand Canyon University. "When men aren't home they are either busy at work or dead in a car crash or cheating or some other horrible thing. They can't respond to every hilarious TikTok video immediately."
Offering a different opinion, Dr. Nina Turner, head of Woman Science at the Pentagon, posits that women sharing funny videos aren't simply sharing a video — they're sharing a part of themselves. "It's not about the videos. It's about communication! Ugh, men are such dogs! Just like this funny dog I saw on TikTok. Hold on, I've got to send this to my husband."
"Adorable, cute, and funny! A hat trick!"
Dr. Pride partially agreed with his colleague but shifted the blame. "Husbands who don't watch the funny videos are on a path to disaster," he agreed. "But it's the woman's fault. They need to relax. Am I right fellas? He he he!"
Religious leaders report counseling hundreds of couples over this same issue. "In truth, they both need to relax a bit. The man feels attacked and the woman feels unseen."
"They're both dumb," concluded Pastor Henry Thorn. "Ugh, hold on. I just got another text from my wife."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
